BSNN.net Headline News: In all, 33 Senators tried out for the 3 open spots, but in Bono’s mind, three stood head and shoulders above the rest: Orrin Hatch, Rick Santorum and Jesse Helms.

“Helms did an electric bass version of Purple Haze that blew my mind,” Bono told BSNN.net. ” That cat’s got it together.”

Hatch was chosen for his ability to compose and orchestrate. And Bono settled on Santorum because, “He was the youngest, hunkiest Republican I could find.”